I hope that guy doesn’t resign and stands up to the pc crowd. I’ve read alot of “intelligence” literature lately and there seems to be sound science and data behind it. I think people assume they mean all men (or whatever group) is more intelligent, what they usually mean is at the extreme ends of the distribution men are more represented. Why doesn’t anyone get upset when we know men are much more likely to be criminals than women.
If you don’t have an Islamic point of view of life than I guess it is upsetting to rank people based on intelligence, wealth etc. But since we know as Muslims that Allah only cares about taqwa (piety) than we know it doesn’t matter.
As far as the mixed upper class blacks, I was actually thinking that recently, that things may become like in Latin America. But I don’t think it will be as dramatic because a significant amount of educated Blacks in America have strong pride in their ethnic identiy and seek other blacks to marry. I think what is more significant will be an upper class of married Black families versus a large class of blacks that do not believe in marriage.
I agree with Um Abdullah on this one. As far as facial expressions man that is true for sure and I have seen that with several fathers and sons I am thinking of.
I agree with you that it will not be as drastic, but I think it is already happening to a certain extent. For example, Tiger Woods married a Swedish model…if they have children, what will they be? And that child’s children?
I was just thinking that it may increase over time. I think that black pride is dying out with the younger generation and fade more quickly as generations pass.
The marriage vs no marriage is more general across the board, but will be more pronounced with the black underclass. Already 7 out of 10 black children are born out of wedlock.
Oh, well there are lots of whites who have black ancestors. I think they will just blend in with the white population. I think I heard that 1/3 of white Lousianians have black ancestors. Personally I think its stupid to force a person with very little black blood to identify with black if they dont want to. I mean I can understand if you want to maintain your culture but many of them really don’t identify at all with black culture so what is the point.
I was thinking of a book I read recently by Shelby Steele and he kept mentioning his kids experienced racism because they are black which I found unbelievable since he barely looks black and his wife is white. Its like you have to play it up for some reason.
Once again I agree with you that people with little African blood should not be forced to identify as black. I hope that I am not misunderstood on that.
The point I was trying to make is that as the children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc of today’s light skinned upper class get lighter and less black, they will no longer identify with blacks at all as the generations pass.
The likelihood is that Shelby Steele’s children will marry people that are not black as well. While on the other hand, lower SES dark skinned children will likely not be married and have children out of wedlock with other darker skinned blacks
Blacks often express hatred for members of their race who are not “black enough” like Shelby Steele and Ward Connerly. So the more talented individuals are forced out of the race too
Ed, some folk just aint black but americans, whether they admit it or not, still follow the one drop rule. Shellby Steele is a mixed race man. Yes socially americans will see him as black because thats what his pigment is closer too (and because they never would wish to refer him as white, even though he is half white because they’re racist). His children are predomitaly more white then black, but yet society people would still say they were black because of 1 black granparent. Its stupid. I can see why some black americans get irked by practically everyone saying that they’re black when it suits them when they aint and dont socially or culturally identify themselves as black (sometimes even despise being called black) but then white america pushes them out in front as the ‘model’ black americans.
I remeber seeing some time ago Maria Carey on the front of Essence magazine and the title said: The most misunderstood black woman in america. I thought what the hell, maria carey has 1 black granparent through her father who was mixed race, but by no means is she ‘black’. And on many occasions when asked, she said she isnt black and claims some latin orgin or something. However when she wants to sell some cd’s or promote a new film, suddenly she starts claiming her ‘blackness’ again.
Its that type of thing that pisses off the black american masses. JLo thought it was okay to use the word nigger in her song because she was ‘down’ with black americans, slept with some black men and identiyed her self as a woman of colour (sometimes all ethnic minorites get lumped into the ‘black’ caterogy simply cos they’re not white). Boy was she wrong though!
I have read neither all the blog nor all the above comments, but I see a forgotton factor here. Rape produces kids and this is a cross-class thing. I see no reason to expect rapists will suddenly get all condom-conscious.
This story, which I caught on satellite TV and was irritated by, is one of those “we will soon have a leisure problem as robots do the work” safaris into the land of nonsense. Those who can achieve academically, do. Those who canNOT, tart up nonsense and sell it to media morons who lap it up.
Overall the, Human species ‘may split in two’, article was a bit farfetched. I found it interesting that some of his claims about the future of mankind, could be found indirectly in our sunnah, but are referring to our lives in the akhirah (specifically Jannah).
“But in the nearer future, humans will evolve in 1,000 years into giants between 6ft and 7ft tall,” Sahih Al-Bukhari: Volume 4, Book 55, Number 543:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall. When He created him, He said to him, “Go and greet that group of angels, and listen to their reply, for it will be your greeting (salutation) and the greeting (salutations of your offspring.” So, Adam said (to the angels), As-Salamu Alaikum (i.e. Peace be upon you). The angels said, “As-salamu Alaika wa Rahmatu-l-lahi” (i.e. Peace and Allah’s Mercy be upon you). Thus the angels added to Adam’s salutation the expression, ‘Wa Rahmatu-l-lahi,’ Any person who will enter Paradise will resemble Adam (in appearance and figure). People have been decreasing in stature since Adam’s creation.
According to a version narrated by Muslim:”Everyone who enters Paradise will be in the form of Adam who was sixty cubits tall. People kept growing smaller until now.”
“Women, on the other hand, will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features, he adds. ”
Tariq, thank you fr bringing up the most interesting topics. You said: Here in America, sometimes I wonder if upper class, higher educated and lighter skinned blacks will eventually over generations
Umm Adam your family background is really fascinating and also supports my fears. My family and many friends think I am overly paranoid about my sons growing up here but I have see too many cases like your brothers. I saw it in college when very bright Black men, middle class would drop out of college to live that stupid hip hop/thug life. I’ve seen it in the Muslim community where the girls are successful and the boys are just lazy and straying from the deen. I don’t know whats going on but I refuse to put my kids at risk, which is why I am homeschooling and keeping them on lock down, they will not be hanging out with just anyone. I just pray that Allah protects them from that madness.
I really want my sons to marry Black women but it may be they probably won’t. As long as they marry nice Muslim women I will be happy but I do know how hard it is for Black women to find nice brothers to marry.
I also fear for my daughter. This sounds so bad but she seems to be very bright, masha Allah, and I wasn’t happy at first to realize that. Because then she may be ambitious like your sister and there are so many bright ambitious AA Muslim women who end up marrying non Muslims because they cant find anyone on their level. Of course inshaAllah she will put deen first but if she is very smart it maybe that she will have a really hard time marrying. Allahu Alim. Obviously its whatever Allah wills and I pray he has the best in store for my children, but navigating the marriage scene for AA Muslim women can be so complicated, I just pray when the time comes Allah makes it easy for her.
I’m curious as to what your advice would be. I take that position because many of our beliefs come from our peers so I want to try all that I can to control their peer group. They still will be active, sports, day camps, its just I will be careful about who they spend a large amount of time with.
Umm Abdullah, I understand your concerns. I have seen many successful sisters marrying ‘down’, many of those marriages end in divource. My own sister met her ex husband in the MSA. He comes from a shia family and has recently apostated
Umm Abdullah, I understand your concerns.May Allah give your family what is best for them in this world and the next…Aameen!
I have seen many successful sisters marrying ‘down’, many of those marriages end in divource. My own sister met her ex husband in the MSA. He comes from a shia family and has recently apostated (if he was considered muslim in the first place) though he can be seen at the masjid this ramadan (culture thing). My mother has sold her condo and moved in to help my sister out, since her divource, because even though she makes well over $100,000 as a Professor and a partner in a private practice, she still lives waaay above her means, masha’Allah. She and my mother are looking for husbands and I am always on the lookout, but honestly have no idea who I could hook them up with. I can’t see either of them marrying AA men. For one, the AA men with good deen would not be interested in them neither would they in them. The AA men who are more like them dunya wise, more than likely do not want an AA wife. This supports Tariq’s theory of evolution…lol! If intelligent and well off AA don’t want each other, they will marry out of the box and then leave the others to procreate. This of course is a SWEEPING generalization.
About the homeschooling of our Muslim youth…this is something that I am undecided about. I understand the wisdom behind it and I pray I am never put in a situation where this is my best option. I know American Muslims that homeschol their children, here in Saudi as well and I understand there reasons, but I just keep making dua and seeking rufuge in Allah from all of the evil influences in school and otherwise.To be honest, I do not know of the condition of the now adult homeschooled Muslim children. Many of the mothers I know who homeschool are pretty ignorant and uneducated themselves. I also know many who are bright and well educated. Does anyone have any success stories about homeschooled Muslim brothers? The sisters may not be that big of a deal, because usually the plan is to marry them off to good muslims anyway, but for the men…what kind of higher education or jobs have they got? Sadly, many of the adult Muslim children I know are not deening too strong and don’t have good jobs either. I even know of a few cases where they have had to join the military for lack of oportunities. I mean hustling oils and rugs and living off of multiple wives public aid gets old real fast. I really would love to hear some positive examples of the homescholing children. So far the good reports I hear are from the ones that are still young.
Umm Adam @ 5:05pm - that’s EXACTLY what I thought when I read about that!
As for homeschooling… well, I’m homeschooled. I’m in grade 11 right now, and have been homeschooling for the last 4 years.
I live in Canada, and my parents had the same concerns about who my peer group would be, so they decided to pull me out of public school and register me with the local Distance Education school.
Distance Ed. is pretty cool ‘cuz I do the same curriculum as kids in public school, AND I have teachers whom I can contact through email, AND we get all the materials and stuff from them.
This means that I have almost regular school hours, only I’m studying at home; plus I can help my mum around the house. When it comes to socializing, my dad used to run an Islamic centre so we always used to go there and hang out with people there. We’ve just moved to a new city so right now we don’t go out much, but I do go to the Masjid and I’ve met some people there; also insha’Allah my dad is planning to start an Islamic school for the Muslim kids here, so that way I’ll be able to meet more people, insha’Allah.
There are ups and downs to homeschooling, but overall I think that it’s been pretty good for me, al-Hamdulillaah. I’ve had, and continue to have, a unique learning experience… I get a secular education through the government, but I’m also firmly grounded in my Deen and don’t have to go through the fitnah that so many Muslim kids go through in the public schools.
AnonyMouse, may Allah give you tawfeeq in all your endeavors.
Ashamed, there is still much fitan in the lands of the Muslims, which people wish to protect their children from. However, there are several reasons. Some people are here illegally. Some AA have complained about racist treatment. Some people do like like the teaching methods or level/standard of education in the school system. Different strokes for different folks.
Saudi is always sold to us as some kind of land of milk and honey. How have you found that adult American children who grew up over there have turned out? Do they survive on their own?
Now you know it’s not polite to hijack a blog. I’ll try to be brief so that we do not digress…too much.
Saudi may not be the land of Milk and honey, because it’s not Jannah! There is fitan everywhere.
I have seen it all when it comes to the American kids here. I honestly do not know that many all American families, most of the ones I know are half Saudi. The few cases of All American that I know, the children were educated in either the government or international schools and many of them grew up to get jobs and stay (don’t know personally any homeschooled ones that are now adults). I know a few where the families would go on vacation to the States every summer and the kids grew to hate Saudi and love America and as soon as they turned 18yrs they were outta here! Most of the children that stay here once they become adults are from families who rarely if ever visited the States.
When you said ‘lockdown’ I thought you meant keeping them in the house at virtually all times, only letting their siblings be their friends and maybe from time to time allow them to play with selected children of Muslims. I don’t think what you say is unreasonable, although, personally, I lean against homeschooling. I think children need social interaction - even from children that are not necessarily their friends - as much as book knowledge. Many lessons of life can be learned on the playground when Mom and/or Dad is not around.
When it comes down to it, we are all experimenting. When I was young, many of the adults in my town and grew up around had bad habits (smokers, alcoholics and sometimes drug addicts). However, my parents (who had none of these habits) leveled with me and pointed to these people as examples of what NOT to be like. They pointed to them when bad things happened to those people and explained to me that this is what happens when you do these things.
In high school, when my peers started trying ‘gateway drugs’ such as marijuana, I wanted no part of it because I knew where that path led.
It is my plan, when my children get older, insha Allah, that I will level with them the same way. There is evil out there, and this is what happens as a result of doing these things.
This, in my opinion, beats pretending that it doesn’t exist and trying to construct a bubble for our children to live in. I’m not saying to throw them around evil to make a point, but at the same time, when it comes up - as it inevitably will - I plan to take the opportunity to explain that YES, this exists, and give the ramifications for such behavior.
On homeschooling, I know an adult Muslim (now about 21-22) who was homeschooled until about the 10th grade. He felt that he was sheltered, got angry and rebelled. Girls seem to do a little better in homeschooling.
Those that have no education and try to ‘homeschool’ in many cases are using it as a cop out.
I’ve known the ‘hijrah’ children to grow up confused too though.
Overall though, it still remains to be seen how all these children turn out.
I hope that guy doesn’t resign and stands up to the pc crowd. I’ve read alot of “intelligence” literature lately and there seems to be sound science and data behind it. I think people assume they mean all men (or whatever group) is more intelligent, what they usually mean is at the extreme ends of the distribution men are more represented. Why doesn’t anyone get upset when we know men are much more likely to be criminals than women.
If you don’t have an Islamic point of view of life than I guess it is upsetting to rank people based on intelligence, wealth etc. But since we know as Muslims that Allah only cares about taqwa (piety) than we know it doesn’t matter.
As far as the mixed upper class blacks, I was actually thinking that recently, that things may become like in Latin America. But I don’t think it will be as dramatic because a significant amount of educated Blacks in America have strong pride in their ethnic identiy and seek other blacks to marry. I think what is more significant will be an upper class of married Black families versus a large class of blacks that do not believe in marriage.
I agree with Um Abdullah on this one. As far as facial expressions man that is true for sure and I have seen that with several fathers and sons I am thinking of.
Um Abdillah
I agree with you that it will not be as drastic, but I think it is already happening to a certain extent. For example, Tiger Woods married a Swedish model…if they have children, what will they be? And that child’s children?
I was just thinking that it may increase over time. I think that black pride is dying out with the younger generation and fade more quickly as generations pass.
The marriage vs no marriage is more general across the board, but will be more pronounced with the black underclass. Already 7 out of 10 black children are born out of wedlock.
Oh, well there are lots of whites who have black ancestors. I think they will just blend in with the white population. I think I heard that 1/3 of white Lousianians have black ancestors. Personally I think its stupid to force a person with very little black blood to identify with black if they dont want to. I mean I can understand if you want to maintain your culture but many of them really don’t identify at all with black culture so what is the point.
I was thinking of a book I read recently by Shelby Steele and he kept mentioning his kids experienced racism because they are black which I found unbelievable since he barely looks black and his wife is white. Its like you have to play it up for some reason.
Um Abdillah:
Once again I agree with you that people with little African blood should not be forced to identify as black. I hope that I am not misunderstood on that.
The point I was trying to make is that as the children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc of today’s light skinned upper class get lighter and less black, they will no longer identify with blacks at all as the generations pass.
The likelihood is that Shelby Steele’s children will marry people that are not black as well. While on the other hand, lower SES dark skinned children will likely not be married and have children out of wedlock with other darker skinned blacks
Blacks often express hatred for members of their race who are not “black enough” like Shelby Steele and Ward Connerly. So the more talented individuals are forced out of the race too
Ed, some folk just aint black but americans, whether they admit it or not, still follow the one drop rule. Shellby Steele is a mixed race man. Yes socially americans will see him as black because thats what his pigment is closer too (and because they never would wish to refer him as white, even though he is half white because they’re racist). His children are predomitaly more white then black, but yet society people would still say they were black because of 1 black granparent. Its stupid. I can see why some black americans get irked by practically everyone saying that they’re black when it suits them when they aint and dont socially or culturally identify themselves as black (sometimes even despise being called black) but then white america pushes them out in front as the ‘model’ black americans.
I remeber seeing some time ago Maria Carey on the front of Essence magazine and the title said: The most misunderstood black woman in america. I thought what the hell, maria carey has 1 black granparent through her father who was mixed race, but by no means is she ‘black’. And on many occasions when asked, she said she isnt black and claims some latin orgin or something. However when she wants to sell some cd’s or promote a new film, suddenly she starts claiming her ‘blackness’ again.
Its that type of thing that pisses off the black american masses. JLo thought it was okay to use the word nigger in her song because she was ‘down’ with black americans, slept with some black men and identiyed her self as a woman of colour (sometimes all ethnic minorites get lumped into the ‘black’ caterogy simply cos they’re not white). Boy was she wrong though!
I have read neither all the blog nor all the above comments, but I see a forgotton factor here. Rape produces kids and this is a cross-class thing. I see no reason to expect rapists will suddenly get all condom-conscious.
This story, which I caught on satellite TV and was irritated by, is one of those “we will soon have a leisure problem as robots do the work” safaris into the land of nonsense. Those who can achieve academically, do. Those who canNOT, tart up nonsense and sell it to media morons who lap it up.
cyquick.wordpress.com
Overall the, Human species ‘may split in two’, article was a bit farfetched. I found it interesting that some of his claims about the future of mankind, could be found indirectly in our sunnah, but are referring to our lives in the akhirah (specifically Jannah).
“But in the nearer future, humans will evolve in 1,000 years into giants between 6ft and 7ft tall,”
Sahih Al-Bukhari: Volume 4, Book 55, Number 543:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall. When He created him, He said to him, “Go and greet that group of angels, and listen to their reply, for it will be your greeting (salutation) and the greeting (salutations of your offspring.” So, Adam said (to the angels), As-Salamu Alaikum (i.e. Peace be upon you). The angels said, “As-salamu Alaika wa Rahmatu-l-lahi” (i.e. Peace and Allah’s Mercy be upon you). Thus the angels added to Adam’s salutation the expression, ‘Wa Rahmatu-l-lahi,’ Any person who will enter Paradise will resemble Adam (in appearance and figure). People have been decreasing in stature since Adam’s creation.
According to a version narrated by Muslim:”Everyone who enters Paradise will be in the form of Adam who was sixty cubits tall. People kept growing smaller until now.”
“Women, on the other hand, will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features, he adds. ”
Hmmm sounds like the Houris…
“Verily, for al-Muttaq
Tariq, thank you fr bringing up the most interesting topics. You said: Here in America, sometimes I wonder if upper class, higher educated and lighter skinned blacks will eventually over generations
Umm Adam:
Your Neurophycologist sister’s offspring are more likely to NOT identify with blacks especially since their father is NOT black. This study from Rice University backs that up.
The same goes for your children, especially your daughter. In KSA, because of your husband, she will be considered white.
Umm Adam your family background is really fascinating and also supports my fears. My family and many friends think I am overly paranoid about my sons growing up here but I have see too many cases like your brothers. I saw it in college when very bright Black men, middle class would drop out of college to live that stupid hip hop/thug life. I’ve seen it in the Muslim community where the girls are successful and the boys are just lazy and straying from the deen. I don’t know whats going on but I refuse to put my kids at risk, which is why I am homeschooling and keeping them on lock down, they will not be hanging out with just anyone. I just pray that Allah protects them from that madness.
I really want my sons to marry Black women but it may be they probably won’t. As long as they marry nice Muslim women I will be happy but I do know how hard it is for Black women to find nice brothers to marry.
I also fear for my daughter. This sounds so bad but she seems to be very bright, masha Allah, and I wasn’t happy at first to realize that. Because then she may be ambitious like your sister and there are so many bright ambitious AA Muslim women who end up marrying non Muslims because they cant find anyone on their level. Of course inshaAllah she will put deen first but if she is very smart it maybe that she will have a really hard time marrying. Allahu Alim. Obviously its whatever Allah wills and I pray he has the best in store for my children, but navigating the marriage scene for AA Muslim women can be so complicated, I just pray when the time comes Allah makes it easy for her.
Um Abdillah:
Problem with keeping kids on ‘lockdown’ is that they may grow up naive
I’m curious as to what your advice would be. I take that position because many of our beliefs come from our peers so I want to try all that I can to control their peer group. They still will be active, sports, day camps, its just I will be careful about who they spend a large amount of time with.
Umm Abdullah, I understand your concerns. I have seen many successful sisters marrying ‘down’, many of those marriages end in divource. My own sister met her ex husband in the MSA. He comes from a shia family and has recently apostated
Umm Abdullah, I understand your concerns.May Allah give your family what is best for them in this world and the next…Aameen!
I have seen many successful sisters marrying ‘down’, many of those marriages end in divource. My own sister met her ex husband in the MSA. He comes from a shia family and has recently apostated (if he was considered muslim in the first place) though he can be seen at the masjid this ramadan (culture thing). My mother has sold her condo and moved in to help my sister out, since her divource, because even though she makes well over $100,000 as a Professor and a partner in a private practice, she still lives waaay above her means, masha’Allah. She and my mother are looking for husbands and I am always on the lookout, but honestly have no idea who I could hook them up with. I can’t see either of them marrying AA men. For one, the AA men with good deen would not be interested in them neither would they in them. The AA men who are more like them dunya wise, more than likely do not want an AA wife. This supports Tariq’s theory of evolution…lol! If intelligent and well off AA don’t want each other, they will marry out of the box and then leave the others to procreate. This of course is a SWEEPING generalization.
About the homeschooling of our Muslim youth…this is something that I am undecided about. I understand the wisdom behind it and I pray I am never put in a situation where this is my best option. I know American Muslims that homeschol their children, here in Saudi as well and I understand there reasons, but I just keep making dua and seeking rufuge in Allah from all of the evil influences in school and otherwise.To be honest, I do not know of the condition of the now adult homeschooled Muslim children. Many of the mothers I know who homeschool are pretty ignorant and uneducated themselves. I also know many who are bright and well educated. Does anyone have any success stories about homeschooled Muslim brothers? The sisters may not be that big of a deal, because usually the plan is to marry them off to good muslims anyway, but for the men…what kind of higher education or jobs have they got? Sadly, many of the adult Muslim children I know are not deening too strong and don’t have good jobs either. I even know of a few cases where they have had to join the military for lack of oportunities. I mean hustling oils and rugs and living off of multiple wives public aid gets old real fast. I really would love to hear some positive examples of the homescholing children. So far the good reports I hear are from the ones that are still young.
Umm Adam @ 5:05pm - that’s EXACTLY what I thought when I read about that!
As for homeschooling… well, I’m homeschooled. I’m in grade 11 right now, and have been homeschooling for the last 4 years.
I live in Canada, and my parents had the same concerns about who my peer group would be, so they decided to pull me out of public school and register me with the local Distance Education school.
Distance Ed. is pretty cool ‘cuz I do the same curriculum as kids in public school, AND I have teachers whom I can contact through email, AND we get all the materials and stuff from them.
This means that I have almost regular school hours, only I’m studying at home; plus I can help my mum around the house. When it comes to socializing, my dad used to run an Islamic centre so we always used to go there and hang out with people there. We’ve just moved to a new city so right now we don’t go out much, but I do go to the Masjid and I’ve met some people there; also insha’Allah my dad is planning to start an Islamic school for the Muslim kids here, so that way I’ll be able to meet more people, insha’Allah.
There are ups and downs to homeschooling, but overall I think that it’s been pretty good for me, al-Hamdulillaah. I’ve had, and continue to have, a unique learning experience… I get a secular education through the government, but I’m also firmly grounded in my Deen and don’t have to go through the fitnah that so many Muslim kids go through in the public schools.
Umm Adam, why would one homeschool in Saudi Arabia when the entire country is Muslim?
AnonyMouse, may Allah give you tawfeeq in all your endeavors.
Ashamed, there is still much fitan in the lands of the Muslims, which people wish to protect their children from. However, there are several reasons. Some people are here illegally. Some AA have complained about racist treatment. Some people do like like the teaching methods or level/standard of education in the school system. Different strokes for different folks.
Saudi is always sold to us as some kind of land of milk and honey. How have you found that adult American children who grew up over there have turned out? Do they survive on their own?
Now you know it’s not polite to hijack a blog. I’ll try to be brief so that we do not digress…too much.
Saudi may not be the land of Milk and honey, because it’s not Jannah! There is fitan everywhere.
I have seen it all when it comes to the American kids here. I honestly do not know that many all American families, most of the ones I know are half Saudi. The few cases of All American that I know, the children were educated in either the government or international schools and many of them grew up to get jobs and stay (don’t know personally any homeschooled ones that are now adults). I know a few where the families would go on vacation to the States every summer and the kids grew to hate Saudi and love America and as soon as they turned 18yrs they were outta here! Most of the children that stay here once they become adults are from families who rarely if ever visited the States.
Um Abdillah
When you said ‘lockdown’ I thought you meant keeping them in the house at virtually all times, only letting their siblings be their friends and maybe from time to time allow them to play with selected children of Muslims. I don’t think what you say is unreasonable, although, personally, I lean against homeschooling. I think children need social interaction - even from children that are not necessarily their friends - as much as book knowledge. Many lessons of life can be learned on the playground when Mom and/or Dad is not around.
When it comes down to it, we are all experimenting. When I was young, many of the adults in my town and grew up around had bad habits (smokers, alcoholics and sometimes drug addicts). However, my parents (who had none of these habits) leveled with me and pointed to these people as examples of what NOT to be like. They pointed to them when bad things happened to those people and explained to me that this is what happens when you do these things.
In high school, when my peers started trying ‘gateway drugs’ such as marijuana, I wanted no part of it because I knew where that path led.
It is my plan, when my children get older, insha Allah, that I will level with them the same way. There is evil out there, and this is what happens as a result of doing these things.
This, in my opinion, beats pretending that it doesn’t exist and trying to construct a bubble for our children to live in. I’m not saying to throw them around evil to make a point, but at the same time, when it comes up - as it inevitably will - I plan to take the opportunity to explain that YES, this exists, and give the ramifications for such behavior.
On homeschooling, I know an adult Muslim (now about 21-22) who was homeschooled until about the 10th grade. He felt that he was sheltered, got angry and rebelled. Girls seem to do a little better in homeschooling.
Those that have no education and try to ‘homeschool’ in many cases are using it as a cop out.
I’ve known the ‘hijrah’ children to grow up confused too though.
Overall though, it still remains to be seen how all these children turn out.