An Idea born of Necessity
Posted on February 6th, 2007 by Tariq Nelson
Below are excerpts from an article that
Filed under: Children's Issues, Convert Issues
Below are excerpts from an article that
Filed under: Children's Issues, Convert Issues
Thanks for posting this Brother Tariq. I read this article in the Muslim link but I’m happy that you were able to provide a forum for us to talk it. I know for a fact that the Baltimore community could really use that shelter…
Case in point, a few months ago, a sister left a note for me with my son at school and the note basically asked me to give her a call. I said to myself, considering what I’m going through, what help or benefit can I be to this sister so I never called her. A month later she called me and asked if I had received the note and I lied and said that I did but had misplaced it and therefore couldn’t call her because I had lost her number. She proceeds to tell me that her husband threw her and her son (from a previous marriage) out of the house at 10 o’clock at night and she had nowhere to go but to beg her son’s father (who is a kaafir) to let her stay the night at his house and he agreed. So here we have a kaafir letting this woman stay in his house whom a Muslim man threw out!!! That is a damn shame!!!
The other thing that is shameful is that there weren’t any sisters who were able to help, including myself. I think I’m a nice person, kind and considerate, sympathetic to the plight of the Muslims, but even if I had called her back, what could I have done? I couldn’t invite her into my home, I barely even had a home of my own. I don’t have any money. I could have lent her an ear but what advice could I give her or how could I console her when I was going through the same things she was? Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of sisters who may be in the position to help will act as if they care but when it’s time to put up, they just turn they’re back on you because if they’re married they don’t want you around their husband for fear that he may want to marry you or vice versa, that the sister may try to steal the husband away from them.
A shelter is a perfect place for a sister to get a new start Insha Allah and I pray that this project takes off and provides the sisters with a safe and stable environment until these sisters can get back on their feet and still have some sense of their deen still intact. May Allah (swt) help us all…
As Salaamu Alaikum,
If you decide to do another one of these don’t forget the Baitul Salaam organization in Atlanta. Visit the web site at http://www.baitulsalaam.net. You will see their history of victory over challenges.
ma salaam
Thank you, Brother Tariq, for posting this. I will help as I can also.
Ya Haqq!
I was just going to mention your organization. Alhumdulilah you are still going strong.
As salaamu alaikum,
It was not until I began the research for this project in which I realized how widespread this problem is and continues to be. Not only did it sadden my heart to learn of the conditions in which some of us are forced to live, but knowing that the majority of us do very little if anything to respond to the homelessness which exist in our communities nationwide. What was worse than the inaction was the actions of male responders seeking to capitalize off of the misfortune of this sisters by wanting me to offer my sisters up for servitude either as wives without rights, or as “domestic” help. Brothers without employment, housing or already married living very far away called with comments such as, well, they are homeless, therefore, they should be grateful and/or appreciative that anyone, of any status, even wants them at all.
These brothers expressed their belief that, since they, (my sisters) have ‘nothing’, they should be satisfied with very little. Adding that
Sister Asma’s comment is so embarassing to read. I physically cringed. This airring of the “dirty laundry” that is going around is hard to witness, though ’bout time!
May Allah reward you for your intentions, ameen.
Thanks for sharing that Sister Asma. We need to know these things so that we can start putting these guys in check
I hope the sister can find some help - my question is how do we move folks away from cult movements? For these are most certainly CULTS!! If we do not develop a normalized modality of living as Muslims [and no, this don't equate to no stinkin' forms of UNIFORMITY] then this is what we’re gonna live with. My advice? We all should have one big Bowel Movement and maybe all this shit can be put to rest.
- M
I’m as guilty as anyone here. I may not have actively contributed to this type of decay. But I, like a lot of us during our ‘bubble’ years passively stood by and held our tongues because of the culture we were a part of. Personally, a lot of the stuff I heard from minbars, in halaqas, and classrooms made me cringe - because the trendy ‘ilm’ that was coming down at that time was a contributing factor to some of the situations described above. Superficial Islam, showing off, fake pleasantries, misogyny - all born out of an EXTREME and misplaced literalism. And some of us, who were born in the most advanced society on earth, regressed and became desert beduoins trying to live this romanticised, neatly bound and published life of the ’salaf’. All in a completely superficial manner of course. So when I saw brothers with the attitudes that lead to this behavior - all I could muster was what everyone else was saying…
“uhh…huh…well…Masha Allah…uhhh…yeah…that brother sho is on the sunnah…yeah…that’s it”
And on the inside I was thinking…
“Damn, that fool is crazy”
But did I speak out on these issues at the time. Nope. Why. Fear I guess. Fear of being called a deviant or modernist or spy or any of a million other ‘cards’ that could be played to keep rational thought out of our communities. So that’s why these days…you will find brothers walking briskly away from me with a bizarre look on there faces. Because I speak (and write) what I should have been saying then. Without any bullshit in the way to dilute the point. Becaues this mindset cannot continue.
We can move away from the cults by doing - as Rashad said - speaking out against foolishness when it is witnessed. Some people have a vested interest in keeping the status quo alive - and will doggedly defend it (it’s of no benefit!!! it’s of no benefit!!!!!!) so that they can continue to take advantage of the dysfunctional culture.
Once more and more normal people start to speak up and show that one can live a dignified Muslim existence in America, then the loud mouthed pretentious denying vultures will be forced into the fringes.
Identifying this behavior as CULTISH behavior is an important step
“…Pretentious denying vultures…”
Reality Broker,
Verily, I can FEEL your anger…it gives you focus….
Henceforth I will be known as “Darth Calamitous”
lmao
“Gooo~~~~~d”
as-salamu `alaykum,
This problem needs to be eradicated from the root! Once you cure the disease at the root, then the branches are of little concern. The brothers many of you speaking of are mere branches. What about the Shuyukh who prey on disadvantaged and/or convert sisters?
I know of too many “Shaykhs” who have absolutely no control over their animal desires. I have a few points to those Shaykhs:
- Your job is to fulfill the spiritual needs of your community. It is not to pick and choose whichever sisters you think are pretty enough to marry your holiness. It has even reached to the point that some have even inquired Shuyukh “back home” whether or not there is a way to have more than four!
- STOP HAVING SISTER ONLY HALAQAS!!!
- Lower your gaze!
- Whether you like it or not, you are an EXAMPLE. Your minions and groupies are going to emulate your behavior. It is your choice whether that is good or bad behavior they copy. The sisters who look up to you for knowledge will be easy prey to you. The brothers who see you behave with no control over your sexual desires will take that as a green light to follow their base desires and objectify their Muslim sisters.
Many thanks to brother Tariq Nelson for having some of the most thought provoking and constructively critical and introspective Muslim blogs on the net!!!!
was-salam
Jazak Allah kheir for this post!!! Insha Allah I will contribute as I am able. I have a soft spot for these types of issues as I used to work in a homeless/domestic violence shelter and I have seen first hand how difficult this situation is for ALL women but especially Muslim women.
@ Philomantis: I have to give you a huge Takbir on your comment! I experienced that first hand and it’s enough to shake your imaan down pretty low. Thank you for calling these pervy pseudo-shuyukh out.
ma’a salaamah,
ha
TSRP & Darth,
Look into the concept of “Frown power” basically showing that you are upset with bigoted or unacceptable speech.
or you could just use the force grip ;).
FYI - Another reminder of the necessity of the community backing this project, insha Allah. I’m sure most of us are one paycheck away from being in the same predicament.
A Muslim sister (single mother of 4) is in dire need of our help. Currently she is living in a homeless shelter with kids, where they are being offered pork and other non halal foods to eat or starve.
How we can help?
Sister needs an employment and housing. She is an Arabic speaker and was working as a maid. Any Muslim family in need of maid services or can provide temporary/permanent housing. please contact Br. Kamal 703-981-2020 or doamine@yahoo.com
Mashallah Brother Tariq, excellent post. may allah make give her success and bless her in this. ameen. If only there were more actions taken like this.