Losing My Religion
Dr Jeffrey Lang has a good article on IslamiCity. It is essential that we seize the initiative back from the nuts who claim to speak for Islam by murdering, raping and pillaging. Many converts and second generation Muslims are confused and are finding noone to talk to about their crises of faith. We can not continue to be in denial about this. I excerpted the article below, but please read it all
At present, our community in America, whether or not we are aware of it or acknowledge it, is engulfed in a decisive conflict, and we are taking heavy losses. Mass numbers of descendents of Muslims, converts, and spiritual seekers are forsaking the American Islamic community and many of these will inevitably abandon the religion. The confrontation is of course not military but rather is occurring on the intellectual plane. On one front our religion is being both subtly and overtly demeaned by the media. On another, anti-Islam websites are assaulting the faith with mostly discarded but now resurrected antiquated orientalist criticisms.
On another, an extreme, virulent and irrational interpretation of the faith has assumed, with a good deal of outside support, center stage on the world scene. On another, most mosques in this country impose in the name of Islam, traditions and beliefs of questionable necessity that obfuscate the fundamental message of God’s last revelation to humanity and that are driving individuals from the faith in droves, and that serve to confirm for too many youth of Muslim parentage and American converts the overriding negative impression of Islam that society seems to hold at large. Instead of seeing a path to spiritual growth, enlightenment and fulfillment many of these disengaged Muslims start to see a stagnant, retrogressive, patriarchal remnant of a lagging culture, mired in meaningless controversies and hollow, lifeless formalism.
He nailed it. We can not expect to continue to practice this devoid type of Islam that is a slave only to legalism that is rendered meaningless. We need an Islam of love, compassion, giving, sharing and caring. This is part of the reason I am so opposed to the “Islam” of the nutters who want to make us all into throughless drones that perform ritual with no meaning. We are human beings and not robots. We have feelings and emotions and that is the way we were created. It is unreasonable to expect that we will all be alike.
Filed under: The Culture of Denial and Pretense
As salaamu alaikum
I feel that part of the problem is not so much as denial as it is that so many of us are afraid to question what we believe to be “authentic” Islam. And given that so many converts are told that they’re not reading the “real” Qur’an since they (we) are unable to understand Arabic, well….. I give kudos to Dr. Jeffery Lang for writing this article (and book), and to you for posting it.
Likewise did We make for every Messenger an enemy,- evil ones among men and jinns, inspiring each other with flowery discourses by way of deception. If thy Lord had so planned, they would not have done it: so leave them and their inventions alone.
To such (deceit) let the hearts of those incline, who have no faith in the hereafter: let them delight in it, and let them earn from it what they may.
Say: “Shall I seek for judge other than God? - when He it is Who hath sent unto you the Book, explained in detail.” They know full well, to whom We have given the Book, that it hath been sent down from thy Lord in truth. Never be then of those who doubt.
(6:112-4)
Salam,
Although I may disagree with some of Jeffrey Lang
Go to http://www.aqidah12.wordpress.com and write comments everyday.
Salam …
I find this discourse exciting. I am a Muslim convert (in 1975), female, who participated in the public Muslim life in San Francisco back in the 1970s when it was a very, very different scene. Since then I have retreated to being a solitary practitioner (if one can truly be solitary with Allah) of Islam. I have missed the “community” but not the direction it has taken. I am a historian with my degree focus in Middle Eastern and Islamic history and I understand why these changes have come about, even if the majority of westernres do not. Kudos to those demanding that this discourse be heard. There is hope in this, and it is increasingly giving me a remiding taste of what my “community” was all about.
Recently, I attended a masjid and had a general conversation with a Muslim woman. As we were talking,there was a couple of women who came in for Jummah. The Muslim woman looked her and already judged her: She was a bad Muslim because she half wore her hijab. Though I didn’t say anything , I just had to wonder what was her meaning of a good follower of God, was it the hijab, her heart or both?
I see why some people, Muslim or non-Muslim is becoming
discouraged about God. Too often, in the eyes of some, God is about their outer being. Some of this reminds me of the times when I attended church services. In the “old-church’, it seemed that people were more concerned about your wardrobe, what you put in the collection place or in one extreme case, make up.( The pastor referred to any woman wearing make-up as anything relating to the devil or whores.No joke).As a woman who wore lipstick, I was very offended and left before the sermon came to a close.
This woman reminded me of the pastor. She seemed more worried about her hijab than about her. Far as the visitor, she was just as modestly dressed as the next Muslim woman in the masjid. I also think of another situation where there was a Muslim man who was dressed in his thobe and did his prayers. Then I came across him again at the mall and he did a 360. When he opened that mouth of his it was like a ton of sewage coming out of it. No respect for anybody.He was talking about ” getting some”(sex) from some woman at strip joint. Me and several other ladies was talking about him. The first thing they were all talking about was his looks. We were all saying how good looking he was, but how the filthy words coming out of his mouth just messed up the his whole persona.I guess she would say that the guys would be a good follower because of his thobe?( Far as still know , he could be trying to do right, but that mouth , man, it was a bit much for me.)
Yes, God loves it when people are covered up but he is concerned about when people having a clean heart, repenting and obeying his commandments. Think about the many religious nutcases out there who claim to be followers of God and are clueless about him.Supposedly, they wear the right clothes, go to Jummah( or some other religious center) faithfully, and read the Qur’an like clock work, yet their minds may still be in the gutter with hate, evil and disobedience that may prevent them from entering paradise.
If the religious communities( no matter whose religion it is) want to help people understand God, people must teach them about God from the inside up. Just to teach, (in the case of the Muslim sister,) about the outside will make forget about God and focus on the wrong things.
Excellent article. Thanks for posting
This article underscores the need to put all these issues on the table instead of sweeping it under the rug. It will requite a grassroots movement dedicted to developing solutions, advocating change and transforming the entire community infrastructure
This is true. The thing is I do not know where to find this type of Islam. I just returned from Making umrah and the things I saw shocked me.
I saw people yelling, hitting, and spiting on worshipers. There was not love and compassion in any of those actions. I saw a woman trying to pray while another woman was in her face nose to nose yelling at her becasue her foot was over a blue line. The woman tried to continue to pray only to haev the lady Kaaba worker knocker her down becuase she didnt not stop praying and move . What ever happened to giving respect to a personthat is praying. If we cannot follow the very basics in Islam I do nto see how we will be able to achieve the greatness Islam deserves.
I for one am truely sadened byt the things i see everyday. I moved my family overseas to live among Muslima nd many day I question Why I am here. Many days I question If I am not crazy for WANTING to be here.
My only reliefe is knowing Islam is perfect but Muslims are not. I just try to make my life mean something and show my children a good example of a Muslim. That way inshaallah they willnot be one of the followers of Hislam and grow up to be good Muslim.
Painting in more colors than simply black and white takes much more work and the picture becomes more complex. We only like to look at things in black and white
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum,
It is clear that a major problem is dealing with the realities of Muslims and balancing that with the Islam we each want to see as Muslims. Admit that every individual makes Islam out to be what THEY see it as. While we may say “Islam is one and it is clear and perfect but we Muslims are not” and actually believe it, but we still don’t know how to manage that difference. All over your blog you raise issues and make thought provoking statements, but in the end how many solutions have come about? How many times have people rehashed the same arguments and stated the same generalities and axioms about the plight of Islam and Muslims but to what end? Perhaps some positive solutions will come about that would not even be dealt with if not raised so I don’t want to dismiss the usefulness or discount any validity of points on the blog but there are so MANY issues that what we may end up needing is some way to prioritize them in order to tackle them properly.
Tariq stated, “We need an Islam of love, compassion, giving, sharing and caring.” but can anyone say that is all Islam is or required? Some places may more need “an Islam that is industrious and innovative” while others more need “an Islam that build strong and brave men who can defend the honor of Muslims” and yet others need “an Islam that rids us of tribalistic divisions and superstition” and certainly “an Islam that emphasizes intellectual growth and academic achievement”. You can keep adding on your own.
We can all probably cite some area that we see Islam as being the solution to but how many of us really understand or are capable of putting it into practical use or initiate forward movement that is beneficial to ourselves as individuals and then the Muslim communities around us?
I think that what I am getting at is that there are many spheres and issues where Muslims need to or seek to implement Islam and no single slogan or even specific measure will suffice for every type of Muslim or every circumstance. Islam is very broad as any system or philosophy MUST be if it is to satisfy the needs of humanity in all its variations. We need to identify or prioritize what it is we need to do most in our various circumstances and not expect one simple formula to solve each problem. Start with self, then with family, closer community then broader community. Let’s not be so narrow as to narrow Islam down to our individual views or circumstances or be so naive as to believe every Muslim will agree upon any single methodology of implementation of Islam itself, from beliefs on down.
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum,
As far as citing the observations of Jeffrey Lang or anyone else, if we can’t get past WHO states something as opposed to the content of their statement, we can be virtually assured of not progressing. Also, too many Muslims put down or downplay issues of Islamic practice as trivial or inconsequential and thus abandon them. So whether it is hijab and beards, pants cuffs or face veils, or saying bismillah when eating and making dua when going in and out of our homes, I believe our individual commitment and determination to learn and implement as much authentic Islamic practice in our lives as possible despite what others may think is a strong component of our overall success. Our belittlement of these issues has negatively affected our ability to understand Islam, stunted our spiritual growth and connection to Allah and contributed to our being overly dependent on purely material or intellectual means to address our various issues and shortcomings.
Peace,
God guide and protect br. lang– and you for publishing this.
i converted several years ago and recently took off my hijab, having realized that i had put it on to please people and be accepted by the community, and that i did not have the spiritual strength to wear it and not have my heart be consumed by anger, bitterness, and an incessant diatribe in my head that fortified ‘us vs. them’ thinking, which i know to be the most effective tool of evil.
since taking it off, the energy i used to simply get through my day has been redirected to my spiritual practice: my prayer has deepened, my heart is opening up again in a way similar to when i read the qur’an for the first time, i am involved in much more charity work. most importantly, i feel close to God again.
yet the reaction of the community to me has got me struggling. there are people i thought were my friends that won’t even look at me anymore. i just found out this morning that when i took it off there were several brothers that are seen as leaders in the community that told my husband to divorce me!!!!
so that piece of cloth means more to people than a human being??? my hijab is valuable, but i am not?
this is disgustingly against the teachings of islam. this idea is backward and unjust. it used to be that a slave woman was not allowed to cover, (there are still laws on the massachusets books!) so that her status be known: which meant she could be possessed, raped, whatever- and no action be taken against the perpetrator. only free women were allowed protection (for what that was worth), and they showed their status by covering.
islam teaches us to eliminate these archaic classifications, and to see all human beings as equal before God. to respect all of God’s creatures- human and otherwise- not because of their social or political status,
but because from God we all come and to God we will all return…
because the qur’an tells us that the only thing that will help us on judgement day is a sound heart… the ONLY thing
idolatry is the obsession with outer forms. the tawhid of islam calls us to break through the forms and see the unity of all of God’s creation, yet we have become an ummah of idolaters. we worship the wardrobe, the scholars, the opinion of the majority while we ignore the qur’an, we oppress our fitrah, and we defile the example of the prophet we so claim to honor.
this is not the qur’an that i lost my job, my family, my friends for. this is not the qur’an that liberated my heart, cleared my mind, and turned my life upside down. i don’t see what the muslims are doing in the qur’an, and i don’t see the qur’an in what they’re doing.
what to do with this? the stronger my prayer, the deeper my readings of the qur’an, the more authentic my relationship with God, the less tolerance i have for the masjid… what is to be done?
i know i am not alone, so why do i feel like a pariah?
“what to do with this? the stronger my prayer, the deeper my readings of the qur
Salam aleikum ….
Those are some darn good two cents. I think your comments on a developed personal Islam are really worth looking at. Islam is what? Our contract with Allah, our relationship with Him. Our social/community expression of Islam has to satisfy Him first, deepen our relationship with Him first, and if it does not, then it is false, no matter who might be trying to manipulate us. If any relationship, action, community, or activity diminshes our relationship with Allah, then it should be shunned. And that is a good yardstick to measure anything. Anything, person or anything else, if it reaffirms our faith and commitment to Allah, it is good. But if it poisons our heart ….. I think we know the asnwer.
Excellent advice by Brother Dash.
I’m a proponent of education, discussion and dialogue. I think the most important aspect of what he mentioned is this,
“The confrontation is of course not military but rather is occurring on the intellectual plane.”
Muslims do not engage the Qur’an as it should be. Hence we’ve lost the source of the ’spirit of Islam’.
I recommend one simple, little book and challenge Muslims to act upon it and that is, “The 77 Branches of Faith”. The book provides the action behind Iman that many of us have shrugged off. Also of import is that these fundamental branches of faith provide and ethos and context for the Muslim to restore their ethics, morals and values. This, I believe, is what is missing - deep foundations of ethics based by responsible informed action done purely for the sake of Allah (swt).
All these are part of a bigger picture.Wahabism planed this since it was created by Muhammad ibn Abd-al-Wahhab back in 18th century.In their books they teach that Muslims should reject absolutely any non-Muslim ideas and practices, including political ones. Wahhabi publications in a number of mosques in the United States preaching that Muslims should not only “always oppose” infidels “in every way,” but “hate them for their religion … for Allah’s sake,” that democracy “is responsible for all the horrible wars of the 20th century,” and that Shia and other non-Wahhabi Muslims were infidels.How one can go against Wahhabism gained considerable influence in the Muslim world following a tripling in the price of oil in the mid-1970s. Having the world’s largest reserves of oil but a relatively small population, Saudi Arabia was in a position to spend tens of billions of dollars throughout the Muslim world promoting Islam, and in particular Wahhabism, which also called “petro-Islam”. We muslims need to open our eyes and search true islam.
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum,
The balance is becoming lost in these comments. While the outer appearance of a person may indeed be superficial, the goal is to have one’s inner self manifest outwardly. If a Muslim has truly submitted to Allah, then whatever is shown to be clearly a command or even a recommendation would be what he or she strove towards and emulated to the best of their ability. We live in a society where women can take off their clothes completely and few would find it strange, so of course the mere covering of one’s head with a little cloth seems trivial and certainly no real deterrent. yet dear sister and those who answered her, what would become of Islam if each of us simply decided on our own what constituted Islam based on our personal experience or intellect alone? Basically it would become Christianity and indeed that is what the Prophet Muhammad stated would indeed happen and we can all see it now. That is why we depend on the Qur’aan and the authenticated reports about the Prophet Muhammad’s statements actions and tacit approvals.
Wearing hijab is an expression of eemaan but it is no guarantee of sincerity any more than a beard or any outward action. Sure Muslims may go overboard about such things while overlooking or underemphasizing great issues that stem from within. However, this constant labeling of any emphasis or giving any importance to issues like hijab, beards, wearing obviously Islamic clothing and that like as Wahabi clamor is simply wrong. Oil money is not what convinces people about the correctness or incorrectness of any position. If the Saudis did not spend any money on the spread of Islam, they would be blamed as well. I’m not trying to defend them and all that they do, but this harping and attacking the strict practice of Islam as a Wahabbi invention is neither completely factual or objective. Do you really think it possible that a woman who just wore a scarf while wearing make-up or not, or wearing perfume, while wearing pants or some dress that shows her form or emphasizes her beauty would not be corrected by the Prophet himself or his wives or companions? At the same time no one would deny that the development of one’s soul and spirit are a higher priority. Yet how did the people around the Prophet behave when they were informed or instructed through an ayaat or statement of the Prophet? Argumentation? Justification of their actions? Finding ways to get out of whatever they demanded because they had not come to some deep understanding and thus could not act upon it yet? Come on! Where is our trust?
Let’s take it upon ourselves to look at all of Islam and we’ll have to admit that since we did not invent it, that looking at the lives, beliefs, practices and habits of those to whom it was revealed to and recognizing their status as the forebearers of the deen, is nothing to lightly put aside. Those who do are just as often trying to push their own agendas and interpretations of the deen as superior to the best of people.
As I stated initially several posts up, let look at the content of what is said and NOT merely who said it, but when it comes to the Prophet himself and his wives and companions, it is in no way to be belittled as is the words or actions of those who came after, especially us.
I completely agree with Abu AbdULLAH,above.
One of the problems of our societies is a very deplorable lack of civility and courtesy,especially when correcting others.One of the hallmarks of a muslim is courtesy.Let us strive to emulate the holy prophet.
“While the outer appearance of a person may indeed be superficial, the goal is to have one
Assalaamu Alaikum.
I am a revert of more than 10 years. I started wearing hijab 2 weeks after converting and while I was working. I did test it a little before I finally wore it full time. What I found out is that people were actually accepting of it and encouraging me to continue (Muslims and non). I am quite strong-willed anyway and would have worn it no matter what the comments were, family or not. That’s just me.
What I also noticed is that I was looking for something that turned out to be Islam. It was a freeing of myself from the typical thinking of a self-absorbed and self-conscious people (that are most humans). It was a weight that was lifted off my shoulders and an understanding that I was moving into a new phase of my life that was TRULY God-conscious and not just doing a bunch of lip service for show.
Sisters who put on the hijab for other than Allah have a VERY high chance of removing it when the hijab catalyst is no longer impressed or has moved on. Sisters need to understand the depth of their Islam. It is your whole life whether others approve of you or not. It is coming to terms with the fact that it is a personal thing for each individual…you will be judged alone in the end.
I applaud the sister for re-evaluating her intentions and strengthening her Islam. I also believe that covering is the right thing to do. I know sisters who don’t cover and I don’t harp on them. They do however come to me and express an interest in covering again. The main reason they don’t is because someone else doesn’t want them to - most of the time it’s parents, sisters, and brothers.
I fear that if we, as Muslims, don’t get back to the true meaning of Islam and love it for what it is and who we are, we will never see the bond that our religion is supposed to give us in the first place.
Jacqueline, hang in there, Hijab is worth all the work you are doing. I don’t know you but I love and support your efforts. Stay strong. Visit my site too. I am always trying to add to it and improve it.
http://www.mysisterskeeper.com
Umm Najee
To Brother Dash,
I am not sure what you were arguing or refuting in most of the points in reply to mine. I in fact was not at all arguing several of those points and will avoid argument now for its own sake.
As far as seeking to do even the recommendation then yes indeed it is a known quality of the best and most pious Muslims, represented most notably amongst the companions of Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) that they would avoid the smallest of sins and were very concerned about them whereas later generations (even in their lifetimes) would just take them lightly like people shoo away flies. They (and others) possessed a quality of doing as much extra as they could, and staying away from matters - even if not haraam per se - that even weakened their resolve or habit of doing more (like fasting much outside of Ramadhan etc.). This is termed ‘wara” and I have tried to describe it as opposed to define it. Certainly few of us attain it but it is certainly just as wrong to imply arrogance or put down those who try just as much as it would be to look down upon those who are not at the level we think they ought to be. I tried to make this clear in my comments about the sister who was dealing with hijab and I insist that hijab, being an obligation placed upon the women not by me or shaykh so and so, but clearly by Allah and His Messenger, is an indication of eeman since the believer puts the order of Allah and His Messenger above their own inclinations or even weaknesses. The companions and others like them had an extraordinary high level of eeman borne out of profound love of Allah and His Messenger and a resultant level of obedience, adherence and desire to please them both whether they fully comprehended all the wisdoms in a particular matter or not. So they did not hesitate or go back and forth or do something other than follow the sunnah to strengthen and grow in their eemaan.
I did not put the lady down or anyone else, as we all fall short, Nevertheless, if anyone understands that a matter is an obligation yet refrains or resists fulfilling that obligation and they are not prevented from doing so, it indicates a fluctuation in eemaan or a weakness in it. The proof for that is the famous hadeeth of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) when describing how eemaan fluctuates when he gave the example of the Muslim who drinks, lies, steals or has illicit sex. This applies to all of us and I ask Allah to strengthen our eemaan, understanding and resolve to follow Islam as closely as possible, aameen.
I tried to make this clear in my comments about the sister who was dealing with hijab and I insist that hijab, being an obligation placed upon the women not by me or shaykh so and so, but clearly by Allah and His Messenger, is an indication of eeman since the believer puts the order of Allah and His Messenger above their own inclinations or even weaknesses.
That’s simply not always true. All actions are judged by their intentions as you well know. Wearing hijab could simply be out of a desire to conform to one’s communal standards and not necessarily out of eman. While you may fulfill an outward Shari obligation of praying if you are doing so soley because you want so and so to see you praying you are not necessarily doing so out of eman. We need to understand the distinction between fulfillment of Shariah and iman and ihsaan.
I did not put the lady down or anyone else, as we all fall short, Nevertheless, if anyone understands that a matter is an obligation yet refrains or resists fulfilling that obligation and they are not prevented from doing so, it indicates a fluctuation in eemaan or a weakness in it.
Not necessarily. People do what they do for a variety of reasons. Not fulfilling an obligation is not necessary lack of faith or weakness in a blameworthy sense. It could be a whole history of trauma surrounding a particular issue that the person needs help dealing with. I think there’s alot of judgement in a community that equates hijab with iman. Iman is internal. Now if you want to say that a person’s “practice” is weak then that’s different. The guy that skips certain prayers has a weak practice. But if that guy comes from a family that never instilled the importance of salat in him, his experience with “practicing” Muslims has been caustic, combative and appearance focused, and he sees what looks like a great deal of Christian “fellowship” and camaraderie and they seem to be less focused on the rudiments, then perhaps that has affected his Islam. Is it a lack of iman? Not necessarily. He may be a strong believer in La Ilaha Ilallah Muhammad ar Rasoolullah. He may be very particular about eating only zabihah and scrutinizing labels. He may be very careful about foul language and he may be an avid reader of the Quran. But perhaps this particular issue in the context of his background is a hurdle that he is trying to overcome but it doesn’t mean “weak” iman.
You see the problem with your line of reasoning is that you must admit to the opposite. All things are known by their opposites. Hijab, Beard= iman so what does no hijab and no beard equal? Well that’s a problem because iman is internal not necessarily external. Now yes in most cases you won’t find polar opposites in the same person. A learned Shaykh that teaches classes during the week that is a fall down stinking drunk on the weekends. But that doesn’t mean that that Shaykh doesn’t have issues that he is dealing with not related so much to iman as it is so perhaps some psychosocial concerns.
So this isn’t an argument nor am I being argumentative. It’s a discussion and I certainly have taken no offense nor any discomfort with your line of reasoning. We are not even at total opposites as you have pointed out somewhat. I just think there are some subtle and not so subtle nuances to the discussion that I wanted to bring out.
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Bro Dash may Allah bless you.
Again I refer to the hadeeth. Of course there may be other internal issues preventing a person from following what they know in their heart and mind to be correct or true. Barring some such issue, willful disobedience, justification and rationalization of one’s wrong actions when the correct action is very clear is nearly always tied to some aspect of sinfulness such as arrogance or disobedience or following of desires, stubbornness or deviance each of which feed upon one another or dovetail into one another and certainly negatively affect one’s eemaan. That eemaan rises with obedience and diminishes with disobedience is well known. I wanted initially to encourage more than chastize the sister (as well as all of us) to try to do what is right according to Islam regardless and trust that the rewards of doing so will come both internally and in our accounts with Allah Most Merciful. I believe it is much more honest to admit a shortcoming than try to justify or rationalize it which often pushes us to want to change rules as opposed to conform to them. I am not arrogant enough to think that everyone will agree with everything I say or reach some level I think they should be at any given point. Guidance is truly in the hands of Allah, not ours.
Assalamu Alaikum,
I am Turkish but living in the USA. Why did I tell that, because in this country nobody says anything about your headscarf or doesn’ t look at your hijab. Opposite of that people behave you just like a “normal” person. I experienced this.
But in Turkey you can not go to universities with hijab. You can not go official foundations or goverment buildings. These are illegal. If you want, you should take off. Can you believe this?
When you walk on the street everybody looks at you as if you are an alien. Why? Because you are wearing hijab.
When you said, in order to seem like everybody you refused to wear hijab, I am very surprised.
I saw in this country what I didn’t see in my country, Turkey, that’s liberty.
i’m muslim like your storey