Tariq Nelson

Will having a prominent black family in the White House encourage future generations of blacks to get married and encourage black boys to grow up to be responsible men?

I am hearing a lot of talk out in the community and in forums about the need to “man up” and take more responsibility in the lives of our children. Personally, I am seeing a lot of fathers inspired to double their efforts and get involved in the lives of their children. The only question is will it last? The Obama family’s arrival in the White House is not enough in itself to affect change on the ground, but I believe that it is a positive step in the right direction as it is a symbol for all to see. The fathers in the black community must stand up and be good examples for their children rather than acting like they are still single and childless. They must act like a FATHER and not like a sperm donor. If this can happen over a generation, then we may see what Cynthia Tucker writes about here

President-elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, are members of a minority: They are a black married couple.

Wed 16 years in October, the Obamas conceived their two daughters, Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, after the wedding. While that kind of traditional couplehood is losing popularity in every corner of the country, it has all but disappeared in black America, where more than 70 percent of children are born outside marriage.

Having children outside of wedlock must be re-stigmatized in order to reverse this trend. No one has the courage to do it

“I was really excited when I saw the Obama family on the [TV] screen [on Nov. 4] because I meet so many young African-Americans who, frankly, have never seen an intact family like this,” said Leah Ward Sears, chief justice of the Georgia Supreme Court and a board member of the Institute for American Values, which promotes marriage. “I’m hopeful [the Obamas] will be a brand-new model of what the ideal is, even if many, many of us will fall short of the ideal,” she added.

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a significant body of research emphasizes that, all other things being equal, children are better off with two loving, responsible parents who are married to each other. Those kids are less likely to engage in drug abuse or risky sexual behavior and more likely to do well in school.

Moreover, fathers are more likely to stay connected with their children if they are married to the kids’ mom. “There is a saying in social research, ‘A mother is a mother all of your life, but a father is a father only when he has a wife,’ ” Justice Sears said.

The other day, Phillip Jackson Executive Director of the Black Star Project spoke on this topic at a banquet for an NAACP Branch in the Chicago area.

One of the solutions he presented is for parents to become more involved in their children’s education. And the key is restoring the African-American family structure.

Jackson helped organize the mobilization of thousands of fathers and male caregivers to take their children to school on the first day of class. It has since fostered participation by more than 400,000 men and children in 228 cities.

I have friends that participated in that. Since then, some have even joined the PTA and become actively involved at their children’s schools.

“Research shows that children who have fathers in their lives get better grades, are non-violent and become productive citizens,” he said, and the No. 1 institution in the world is the family.

“The family his where children learn values and character. The education and development of our children will determine the future of this race and this country for the next 10 to 30 years.”

Marian McElroy, president of the Lake County Branch NAACP, said she was hopeful that Phillips’ words and actions would benefit those in attendance.

“He came to Lake County not just to talk, but to lead us into action,” McElroy said. “There has been a lot of bad news lately. Two young men have been shot and killed by the police, a few young men turned guns on each other, and one young man was shot dead after robbing a local grocery store.

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Inspired by the election of Barack Obama, Zion-Benton High School freshman Adrian Collier said more young African-Americans need to be held accountable for their actions and strive for success in the classroom and on the job.

“We need to take responsibility for our future and become leaders and role models,” Collier said. “No longer can black men be judged by dribbling a ball, rapping or being thugs with sagging pants. We can become anything we want to be.”

Get involved. Tutor your children. Meet your child’s teacher. In order for our community to truly change, we must all become actively involved and take a leadership role rather than being passive or simply complaining. It is only when we take the initiative and insist on a positive change, as people such as Phillip Jackson have done, can we create a better future for our children. Change comes from the ground. That is how it always works. We need to hear a constant drumbeat at all levels reinforcing responsibility and hard work. This next generation must learn the values of relentlessly pursuing opportunities, saving part of their paycheck every week and the value of doing all the things that successful people do.

Filed under: Children's Issues